The words “transition” and “change” often elicit some level of anxiety and, for some, negative emotions. These can sureface as a result of unpleasant experiences, avoidance of transition/change, or uneasy emotions associated with transitioning. In the next series of blog posts, I will tackle strategies for transitioning between various life experiences in childhood, adulthood, and parenthood.
Let’s start with strategies for successful transitions around non-preferred and preferred activities or tasks.
How many of us have said to ourselves, “I’m going to do this myself, because I don’t feel like dealing with tantrum behaviors right now.”? Transitions can become so frustrating when moving to a non-preferred task/activity that you just give up and let your child continue to have access to the preferred item. These experiences can lead to a frustrated exchange between the parent and child, leaving us feeling defeated.
As adults, transition and change are part of everyday life. Children and adolescents may need extra stepping stones as they develop positive coping skills. Consider these strategies to help build strategies for successful transitions.
1. Prompting: Depending on what works best for your child, provide a verbal, visual, or auditory prompt prior to transitioning. This can look like you saying, “5 more minutes before we go brush your teeth.” From there, remind your child at the 3 and 1 minute mark in order to lessen the “surprise” of the transition. A visual and auditory prompt can be a kitchen timer or timer set on your phone that goes off when it is time to transition.
2. Provide Precision Directives: Provide a direct and concise directive when it is time to transition instead of “asking”. For example, try saying “It’s time to brush your teeth.” instead of, “Are you ready to brush your teeth?”
3. Consistency: Be consistent in reinforcing positive behaviors and providing consequences for negative behaviors. Be prepared to follow through on the transition in some way. For example, if your child is taking a long time to transition from cleaning up due to negative behaviors, provide a prompt, give a precision directive, and then be prepared to support your child. This could include breaking down or limiting the items needed to clean up, making clean up time a game, or setting a timer for cleaning up to provide supporting prompts. If a consequence is needed, because there was no follow through on the transition, let the consequence be natural by not moving to the next activity before cleaning up.
4. Apply the Premack Principle Using First- Then Sentences: Many of the strategies outlined here are grounded in behavior theory; however, this particular one can be found in most behavior theory textbooks. When possible, set your child’s transition up using the “Premack principle”. This theory of reinforcement states that a less desired behavior can be reinforced by the opportunity to engage in a more desired behavior. The theory is named after psychologist David Premack. This concept can seem like a no brainer when you apply it, but the more you utilize it during transition activities the more you will set yourself and your child up for a positive transition. When using Premack principle you can give a precision directive by saying, “First we are going to clean up, then we are going to go outside to play”. Consider another example of applying the Premack principle. When a preferred activity for your child is access to the iPad and he has to eat a non-preferred food. You would say, “First eat your vegetables, then you can use your iPad.”
5. Offering Choices: See the blog post around the importance of offering choices. Choices can be used during transition time, such as offering two options around the transition. For example, “It is time to get ready for bed, do you want to start with getting your pajamas on or brushing your teeth?”.
6. Avoid Unnecessary Power Struggles: Keep your expectations reasonable for yourself and your child. Remember the adage, “pick your battles”. If your child takes an extra minute or two when transitioning, consider praising her for the positive behaviors instead of providing feedback for not meeting expectations on the time. If you are having a more stressful day or your child is having an “off” day, keep expectations reasonable and cut yourself some slack.
A realistic goal is to try to set yourself up with more opportunities for positive and teachable transitions and fewer negative, frustrating experiences. Successful transitions may not happen during each transition throughout the day, but when possible, set your child and you up for success. Shift the cycle from negative to positive parent/ child exchanges. This will aid in building healthy coping strategies and positive self-esteem in your child, as well as less frustration and negativity for both of you.
