Self-Esteem focuses on our emotional appraisal of our own self worth. It often speaks to our thoughts about ourselves. It includes believing that you deserve love and value your thoughts, feelings, opinions, interests, and goals. Our level of self-esteem also plays a role in how we allow others to treat us as well.
Self-esteem develops over our lifetime and can shift and shape based on our experiences. Low self-esteem keeps us from enjoying our life, setting us up to lack assertiveness and feel unworthy. This feeling brings with it the potential for excessive self-criticism.
Some signs that you are experiencing low self-esteem include:
- Doubting your own abilities
- Comparing yourself to others
- Hard on yourself for making mistakes
- Find it difficult to accept feedback and suggestions
- Ignoring your accomplishments and highlighting failures
- Feeling worry and/or dread about everything you do
Ways to promote a healthy Self-Esteem for yourself
- Challenge the way you think about yourself
- Put thoughts into actions
- Accept that you are not perfect
- Use Positive Affirmations
Rebalancing your self-esteem is important and may require seeking support from a professional. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) assists with challenging unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. It can support learning to recognize, challenge, and replace negative thoughts with more realistic, positive thoughts. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is another therapy that can assist with improving self-esteem. The FAST Acronym assists you with challenging yourself around negative thoughts as you are interacting with others.
F – Be fair to yourself as well as other people. It’s important to learn that your needs are just as important as someone else’s. This is also about being assertive and learning to speak your truth.
A – No apologies. Don’t be overly apologetic. Don’t apologize for having an opinion or disagreeing with others.
S – Stick to your values and don’t compromise or abandon your values trying to please others or conform.
T – Be truthful and don’t make excuses. Be honest and don’t exaggerate or tell little white lies.
At times the relationships that we are in can foster low self-esteem. Working with your partner to communicate better and knowing what you want and expect from a relationship can be key to improving your self-esteem.
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